4 Cents on Speed Dating

I had wanted to try speed dating ever since I saw Hitch, the Will Smith vehicle in which he helps the shy and socially awkward to be cooler and find love.  Speed dating looked fun and easy and breezy: the ladies sit while the men rotate (a plus for allowing me to be sedentary); you only have to talk for 10 minutes; then Will Smith swoops in and pushes your date out of the way because he likes you.

But that’s the movies.  CocoaNut and I decided to try this out in real life when we happened upon a speed “double dating” event: two men, two women, and one ten-minute conversation. 

Many of the emails I had received promoting similar events had featured MORE MEN NEEDED in bold red letters next to the title, so I wasn't surprised when there turned out to be exactly half as many men as women. That proved for some interesting groupings, though: instead of double dating, the organizers split the men up and each man was paired with two women.  CocoaNut and I are pretty easy to talk to, but I did kind of feel sorry for the guys bereft of a wingman. Over the years, with my mother saying things like, "It's a long walk across the dance floor," I've grown slightly more sympathetic toward men and the heavy lifting they are expected to do to get things rolling. 

The evening actually turned out quite well; the dates provided fodder for CocoaNut and me.  Some highlights included the following:

• Secret Agent Man - he apparently worked for the FBI or something, which I initially thought was pretty cool, but he gave me the heebie jeebies.  “Secret Killer Man” might be more apt. 

• The Peace Corps Volunteer, who had been to forty-one countries and at one point said, "I don't want to sound like I'm proselytizing, but ..." and then went on to proselytize about the Peace Corps.  

• Nervous and shy Accountant Dan and his less nervous and shy friend Accountant Something Else.  One tried to ask us out to dinner for afterward; a little while later the other revealed they had already eaten.  Oh, boys, didn't you come up with a game plan beforehand?  I actually liked them, though, especially Accountant Something Else, who said he had time-traveled there from the future and would watch Stranger Than Fiction anytime it was on tv.  Funny and loves movies: definitely someone I wouldn't mind hanging out with, but there was no spark.  If I could have said, "let's hang out and be friends, but only and ever friends," I would have. 

• The most promising of the bunch was the Coast Guard Runner.  Handsome in a suit and tie, he was polite and unassuming. We talked about running 5Ks and how he likes living in Tyson's Corner. He seemed like a gentleman who actually had time-traveled from some earlier era, and I wondered, How did you end up here?

Will Smith never swooped in, alas, but after escaping from The Accountants, CocoaNut and I enjoyed some laughs over late-night ice cream, cupcakes, and tapas (in that order).  If had a bucket list, I would be crossing this one off it: speed dating - check.  Next: getting married by Elvis in Vegas.