6 Cents on The Bromance

I clearly don't get to the movies enough. I have never seen, nor frankly have any desire to see, the movies referenced in the preceding 4 cents. Let's just forget "bromance" and "chicks before dicks" and go back to pure unadulterated romance depicted in movies such as An Affair to Remember, Roman Holiday, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Dirty Dancing, and Pretty Woman -- just to name a few. You didn't see the main male characters running off with their male buddies for a couple of brewskies night after night leaving potential love interests behind. Nor did the chicks leave their love interest to down a couple of cosmopolitans. Back in the day, instead of being with just your buds and talking about sex -- you'd rather be with your love interest and possibly having sex. As much as I love my girlfriends, potentially having sex with my love interest was always more appealing to me than talking about it.

4 Cents on The Bromance

I have always tended to have more male friends and to associate with male cliques rather than female. I never gave this much thought, but if I had to explain it, I would say the reason is male friendships are (stereotypically) easier. I don’t have to worry about pettiness and drama, being misunderstood or judged, as when a part of majority female groups. But as I have gotten older (or because I too have enjoyed watching the mindless Judd Apatow movies), I have become more aware that guys need “guy time.” Several weeks ago my friends (“the Boys”) were planning an event and I was invited to attend. I declined so they could have “boy bonding” as I call it. They all proceeded to make fun of me because I always decline these invites to allow for boy bonding. Their argument was that they bond enough (because they are boys and don’t need as much time to bond as females—my interpretation; not theirs), they enjoy my company (who doesn’t), and they can bond with each other with me being present (seems true enough too). My argument was the Boys censor themselves around me even if it’s subconscious. They immediately denied it, reassured me that I would not be intruding, and attempted to not censor themselves. I know some of their over-the-top behavior and remarks were an exaggeration to prove their point, and they don’t habitually talk/act in that manner when not under female observation (at least, they say they don’t. I tend to believe them). Regardless, after a few days they went back to censoring themselves and I was happier.

2 Cents on The Bromance

For months, I couldn’t bear the word “bromance” without rolling my eyes in disgust.  Articles like this one were some of the offenders.  Why was I so put off by men having guy time with their buds?  

It took me some time to sort all this out, but I finally did - at the movies.

Male-oriented comedies have been everywhere in recent years.  And since I love movies, I’ve seen a lot of them.  There’s a question of life imitating art or art imitating life that I won’t delve into too much, but film is often a high-profile participant in cultural discourse.  And what we’re seeing in these stories are men, their problems, and their friendships, all couched in some variation of the of men-behaving-badly ethos: the bromance, once an innocent enough expression of male bonding and friendship, has gained such traction in our culture as to become a prescriber of and apologist for bad behavior.  This aspect of the bromance trend bothered me so much because these behaviors ultimately hurt women, though in recent films that hurt has rarely been shown, let alone examined.